Summary · 摘要
In this second appearance on The Diary Of A CEO, trauma and addiction physician Dr. Gabor Maté returns to talk with host Steven Bartlett about the inner life that hides beneath the personality people present to the world. Maté argues that chronic “niceness” — habitual self-suppression and people-pleasing — is bad for one’s health, while a capacity for healthy anger is protective. The conversation ranges across his own difficult year and self-criticisms, his inability to follow his own advice, the importance of saying “no,” and how success can pull a person away from themselves.
He also reflects candidly on his much-discussed interview with Prince Harry, which he says he came to regret, and on what that encounter taught him about Harry as a traumatised child. Throughout, Maté connects repressed emotion to physical illness, the inheritance of stress, the loss of contact with gut feelings, and the cultural habits — from rushing intimacy to chasing achievement — that keep people disconnected from themselves. His closing message: outward success never delivers inner peace, and the goal worth chasing lies elsewhere.
在这期《首席执行官日记》（The Diary Of A CEO）的二度做客中，创伤与成瘾领域的医生加博尔·马泰再次与主持人史蒂文·巴特利特对谈，探讨人们呈现给世界的人格之下所隐藏的内在生命。马泰认为，长期的”善良”——习惯性的自我压抑与取悦他人——有害健康，而拥有健康愤怒的能力则具有保护作用。对话涉及他自己艰难的一年与自我批评、他无法践行自己给出的建议、说”不”的重要性，以及成功如何把一个人从自我中拉走。
他还坦率回顾了那场广受讨论、并令他逐渐感到后悔的哈里王子访谈，以及这次相遇让他看到哈里曾是一个受创伤的孩子。整场对话中，马泰把被压抑的情绪与身体疾病、压力的代际遗传、与直觉感受失去联系，以及那些让人与自我疏离的文化习惯——从过早的亲密到追逐成就——联系在一起。他的收尾讯息是：外在的成功永远无法带来内在的平静，真正值得追寻的目标在别处。
Key points · 要点
- Being habitually “nice” — suppressing your own needs to please others — is unhealthy, while access to healthy anger is protective.习惯性的”善良”——压抑自身需求去取悦他人——有害健康，而能够调用健康的愤怒则具有保护作用。
- A personality shown to the world often sits on top of deeper, hidden inner depths that the conversation tries to reach.人们展现给世界的人格之下，往往叠压着更深、更隐蔽的内在层面，而对话正试图触及这些深处。
- You do not have to identify with your emotions; emotions can be felt without being who you are.你不必把自己等同于情绪；情绪可以被感受，而不必成为你之所是。
- Maté reflects on a tough year, his biggest self-criticisms, and why he often cannot follow his own advice — including how success can make a person lose themselves.马泰反思了艰难的一年、他最深的自我批评，以及自己为何常常无法践行所给的建议——包括成功如何让人迷失自我。
- He revisits his interview with Prince Harry, why he regrets it, what he learned, and how he came to see Harry as a traumatised child.他重新审视了对哈里王子的访谈、为何后悔、从中学到了什么，以及他如何逐渐把哈里看作一个受创伤的孩子。
- Asking for help, and reconnecting to gut feelings, are framed as essential — gut feelings, he says, are everything.寻求帮助、重新连接直觉感受被视为至关重要——他说，直觉感受就是一切。
- We tend to play out our traumas; in couples, women often carry the pain for both partners.我们倾向于反复重演自身的创伤；在伴侣关系中，女性往往替两个人承担痛苦。
- Repressing anger and other emotions makes people sick; the worst part of trauma and the link between “niceness” and illness recur as central themes.压抑愤怒及其他情绪会让人生病；创伤最糟糕的部分，以及”善良”与疾病之间的关联，反复成为核心主题。
- Stress can be inherited, and knowing your trauma carries real power; learning how to breathe is part of the work.压力可以被代际继承，而了解自身的创伤蕴含真正的力量；学会呼吸是这项功课的一部分。
- People often rush into sex too soon, and chasing success will never deliver inner peace — pointing to a different goal worth pursuing in life.人们常常过早进入性关系，而追逐成功永远无法带来内在的平静——这指向人生中另一个值得追寻的目标。
Selected quotes · 摘引
No verbatim transcript available — no quotes. · 无逐字稿，故不摘引。
People & works · 人物与著作
- Gabor Maté — guest; physician and expert on addiction, stress, and childhood development; for 12 years worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients facing drug addiction, mental illness, and HIV, with over 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience.加博尔·马泰 —— 嘉宾；专精成瘾、压力与童年发展的医生；曾在温哥华市中心东区工作十二年，照护面临药物成瘾、精神疾病与艾滋病的患者，并拥有逾二十年的家庭医疗与临终关怀经验。
- Steven Bartlett — host of The Diary Of A CEO, in conversation with Maté.史蒂文·巴特利特 —— 《首席执行官日记》主持人，与马泰对谈。
- Prince Harry — subject of an earlier interview Maté conducted and discusses here, reflected on as a traumatised child.哈里王子 —— 马泰此前所做、并在本期讨论的一场访谈的主角，被反思为一个受创伤的孩子。
- When the Body Says No — book by Gabor Maté.《当身体说不的时候》 —— 加博尔·马泰著作。
- In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction — book by Gabor Maté.《在饿鬼的领域：与成瘾的近距离接触》 —— 加博尔·马泰著作。
- The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture — Maté’s most recent book.《正常的神话：有毒文化中的创伤、疾病与疗愈》 —— 马泰的最新著作。
Source · 来源
- Original · 原始链接: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/doctor-gabor-mate-i-regret-my-interview-with-prince/id1291423644?i=1000631046969&uo=4
- Channel/Show · 频道/节目: The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett · published 2023-10-12