Summary · 摘要
A definitional talk, given under the title “reclaiming authenticity”. Maté starts from etymology: authentic comes from auto, the self, so authenticity means being ourselves — a state we are born in and cannot help being born in, connected to gut feelings, emotions, belly, heart and nervous system, present rather than rehearsing the past or worrying about the future. He then makes the move that gives the talk its practical bite: for most of us authenticity shows up in its absence. Almost everyone has said or done or tried to look something and felt a small internal signal saying I’m not being myself.
That signal is the argument. The part that notices the inauthenticity is the authentic part — which is why Maté tells people not to go seeking authenticity: the seeker is already the inauthentic one. Authenticity cannot be lost, stolen or removed, only surrendered, hidden and repressed in order to belong to a family and a society, sometimes so completely that people lose contact with it and make themselves and others miserable without knowing why. The method he offers is therefore observational rather than aspirational: notice where you are not authentic, and instead of criticising yourself, be curious — what was I afraid of? He illustrates with the smallest possible case (saying yes to coffee you don’t want in order not to disappoint) and a same-morning example of his own (declining three requests to read manuscripts and write blurbs). He ends by noting that human beings are pretty much the only animals who give up their authenticity for social reasons, and that no one can prescribe what another person’s authenticity should look like.
这是一场以”重拾真实性”为题的定义性讲话。马泰从词源开始：authentic 源自 auto（自我），因此真实性意味着做自己——一种我们出生时便处于、且不由自主地处于的状态：与直觉、情绪、腹部、心脏与神经系统相连，身处当下，而非排演过去或忧虑未来。随后他给出了让这场讲话真正可用的一步：对我们多数人而言，真实性是以它的缺席方式显现的。几乎每个人都曾说过、做过、或试图表现成某个样子，同时内心有个细小的信号在说：我没有在做我自己。
那个信号本身就是论证。注意到不真实的那一部分，正是真实的那一部分——这也是为什么马泰劝人不要去”寻找”真实性：那个去寻找的部分本身已经不真实了。真实性无法被失去、被偷走、被剥夺，只能为了归属于家庭与社会而被交出、藏起、压抑，有时压抑得如此彻底，以至于人们完全失去与它的联系，让自己和他人痛苦却不知缘由。因此他给出的方法是观察式的，而非追求式的：留意你在哪里不真实，并且不要批评自己，而要好奇——我当时在怕什么？他用一个最微小的例子来说明（明明不想去，却为了不让人失望而答应喝咖啡），以及当天早上他自己的例子（拒绝了三个请他读书稿、写推荐语的请求）。结尾他指出：人类差不多是唯一会出于社会原因放弃自身真实性的动物，而没有人能替另一个人规定他的真实性该是什么样子。
Key points · 要点
- [00:00:00] Etymology: authentic comes from auto, meaning the self — so authentic means being ourselves.词源：authentic 来自 auto（自我）——因此”真实”就是做自己。
- [00:00:31] We are born being ourselves and cannot help it: connected to gut feelings, emotions, belly, heart and nervous system, and present rather than in past or future.我们生来就是自己，且不由自主：与直觉、情绪、腹部、心脏与神经系统相连，身处当下而非过去或未来。
- [00:01:32] For most people authenticity shows up in its lack — the near-universal experience of saying, acting or appearing in a way and sensing “I’m not being myself”.对多数人而言，真实性以其缺席方式显现——那种近乎人人有过的体验：说了、做了或装出某个样子，同时察觉”我没在做我自己”。
- [00:02:03] Authenticity is an essential part of you: you are born with it, can never be without it, can never be robbed of it.真实性是你本质的一部分：你与生俱来，永远不会没有它，也永远不可能被夺走。
- [00:02:34] But to belong and fit into family and society, one surrenders, hides, represses and pushes it down — some people entirely lose contact with it.但为了归属并融入家庭与社会，人会交出它、藏起它、压抑它、把它压下去——有些人彻底失去了与它的联系。
- [00:03:05] Do not go seeking authenticity: the part that wants to find it is already not authentic; the part that notices the inauthenticity is the authentic part.不要去寻找真实性：那个想找到它的部分本身已不真实；注意到不真实的那部分，才是真实的那部分。
- [00:03:36] The smallest illustration: being invited for coffee, not wanting to go, and saying yes anyway in order to please and not disappoint.最微小的例证：被邀去喝咖啡，其实不想去，却为了取悦、为了不让人失望而答应。
- [00:04:37] Maté’s own same-morning example: declining three requests to read books and write blurbs, because he did not have the time or energy.马泰当天早上的自身例子：拒绝了三个请他读书稿并写推荐语的请求，因为他没有时间和精力。
- [00:04:37] The practice: notice when you are not being authentic and, without self-criticism, be curious — what was I afraid of?实践方法：留意自己何时不真实，并且不加自我批评地保持好奇——我当时在怕什么？
- [00:05:39] Human beings are pretty much the only animals who give up their authenticity for social reasons.人类差不多是唯一会出于社会原因放弃自身真实性的动物。
- [00:06:09] Authenticity has physical, psychological and spiritual aspects; no one can prescribe for anyone else what theirs should look like.真实性有身体的、心理的与灵性的面向；没有人能替他人规定他的真实性该是什么样子。
Selected quotes · 摘引
“authentic comes from the word Auto which means the self so authentic means being ourselves” — 00:00:00
authentic 一词来自 auto，意思是”自我”；所以”真实”就是做我们自己。
“so what I say to people about authenticity is it’s an essential part of you in fact you can’t help but be there because you’re born with it then you can never be without you can never be shorn of it you can never be robbed of it” — 00:02:03
关于真实性我对人们说的是：它是你本质的一部分，事实上你不可能不在那里，因为你与生俱来；你永远不会没有它，它永远无法被剪除，永远无法被夺走。
“so in terms of seeking authenticity don’t do that because the party that wants to find authenticity is already not authentic” — 00:02:34
所以就”寻找真实性”而言——别那么做。因为那个想要找到真实性的部分，本身已经不真实了。
“notice when you’re not being authentic and then without being critical of yourself or I wasn’t being authentic what terrible be curious what was I afraid of” — 00:04:37
留意你何时不真实；然后不要批评自己、不要说”我居然不真实，太糟了”，而要好奇：我当时在怕什么？
People & works · 人物与著作
- Gabor Maté — speaker; gives the definitional account of authenticity used across his work.加博尔·马泰 —— 讲者；给出贯穿其全部工作的”真实性”定义性表述。
- Science and Nonduality (SAND) — the event/channel hosting this talk, under the title “reclaiming authenticity”.Science and Nonduality（SAND）—— 举办并发布这场讲话的活动/频道，主题为”重拾真实性”。
Source · 来源
- Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4OHGy4tkxQ
- Channel/Show · 频道/节目: Science and Nonduality · published 2023-05-10
- Registered from the Notion「GaborMate 阅览室」文字讲稿《什么是”真实”》.